Of Sorcerers and Magicians: The Lunacy in Iran

And we thought these guys couldn’t get any crazier?

While we’re all too familiar with the loony antics of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the zealotry of the ayatollahs, things have taken an extra screwy turn for the nut jobs in Iran. I know, you didn’t think these clowns could get any crazier. Me neither.

All is not well between President Mahmoud and Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Khamenei. As is the case with political power struggles in general, accusations and charges of undue influence abound. However, this battle has “crazy Iranians” written all over it: The supreme leader has accused our pal Mahmoud of using sorcerers and evil spirits to further his agenda.

Several of Mahmoud’s buddies have been arrested in recent days for using supernatural powers and invoking djinns (spirits) against the bearded cleric. The Iranian news website, Ayandeh, described one of the arrested “magicians” as a “a man with special skills in metaphysics and connections with the unknown worlds.” (Click on the link – it’s written in Persian, but check out the image on the right – it says it all.) You can’t make this stuff up.

The whole thing started when Khamenei reinstated an intelligence minister who had been sacked by Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud did what any good president would do; he staged an 11-day walkout to protest the ayatollah’s decree. You don’t suppose he was in touch with the Wisconsin Democratic legislators, do you?

At any rate, Mahmoud’s temper tantrum didn’t sit too well with the ayatollahs, who warned that the disobedient president might be impeached and exiled for his pouty behavior.

The feud went “Twilight Zone” shortly after the release of an Iranian “documentary”-produced by a pal of Mahmoud’s – on the imminent return of the Hidden Imam Mahdi. Ahmadinejad’s obsession with the hidden imam is well known; he claimed in a 2009 rant that the U.S. was trying to prevent Mahdi’s return. At any rate, the flick didn’t sit too well with the clerics, who claim the Mahdi’s return cannot be predicted.

So of course, as any film critic worth his weight in rial would do, the clerics accused the producer of sorcery and metaphysical mayhem. And you thought Roger Ebert was bad.

In an effort to root out the “deviant current” within Ahmadinejad’s inner circle, at least 25 people have been arrested since Mahmoud returned to work. At the minimum, perhaps the president will think twice before planning this summer’s family vacation.

The mere thought that there are people even crazier than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad “in control” of a country that is doing everything in its power to acquire nuclear weapons is a sobering thought indeed. Mahmoud, the ayatollahs, the sorcerers and the magicians are loonier than ever.

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Categories: Iran, You’re kidding right?

4 replies

  1. C’mon, let’s relax a little. Who says political leaders with life-or-death power have to be sane? Astrologers aren’t uncommon among that set; many believe that the universe popped into being on its own from nothing and/or that American prosperity will be restored by increasing spending of borrowed money. What’s a djinn or two among all that? You’ve got a guy who keeps promising to blow up Israel and is building the means to do that getting in trouble with his boss. What’s not to like?

  2. Rat, this was very fun reading! I’m having wild visions of psychotic Iranians screaming oogada-boogada at each other, casting spells, going all Dungeons & Dragons on us. Utterly lovely. And these losers could get nukes? No wonder so many folks would love to drop a bomb on Tehran before that happens.

    • Can’t you just picture Mahmoud and his pals sitting around the houkah, singing:

      Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
      Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
      Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
      Even though the sound of it
      Is something quite atrocious
      If you say it loud enough
      You’ll always sound precocious
      Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

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