Weapons Unlimited

CSI etcNow that the Occupier of the White House is using the families who lost children in the Sandy Hook tragedy as props to push the idea that guns kill people, rather than people using guns killing other people, and the more conservative among us are reeling at the hypocrisy of the public relations stunts, it’s time to review some of the other ways to kill another human being that just don’t get nearly as much attention.  These weapons and methods may not result in a mass shooting or stabbing, as happened this week, but as a deadly weapon, they get the job done.

See, thanks to the mass media tapping into the macabre nature of humanity, there is quite a body of television work known as crime serials, or cop shows, that take their stories from actual real homicides, so none of this is a secret.  To say that a firearm is the weapon of choice not nearly all the time is an understatement.

As a connoisseur of not just the CSI and NCIS families, but Castle, Bones, Criminal Minds, older The Closer episodes and a bit of Alfred Hitchcock lore among others, let us recount the ways other than bullets that people can die:

Blunt force trauma to the head: on every one of those shows, the coroners keep a cabinet of regular items that everyday people may own to compare to deadly head wounds.  Baseball bats, hammers, sledge hammers, pipes, wrenches, 2x4s – anything hard and heavy will do the job if the victim is struck in the right place.  On one Castle episode, the murder weapon was a Prohibition Era bottle that happened to contain very rare and expensive Bourbon (or Scotch.  Doesn’t matter) found in a speak-easy cellar.  More than one Bones episode, the murder weapon was a pipe.  One legendary Alfred Hitchcock episode featured a frozen leg of lamb employed to do the deed and the murderess serving it to the police who promptly ate the evidence (I’ve just heard about this one and need to dig up the video).  Not the stuff of mass killing headlines, but effective.

Strangulation: Normally, we hear when someone is strangled with a garrote, and occasionally a rope, but purse chains, Rosaries, a twisted sheet…deadly weapons we all have lying around the house.  If wide and strong enough, jewelry chains would do in a pinch.  Again, not the stuff of national headlines, but locally, a woman “committed suicide” by hanging herself with her hands tied behind her back.  (That one is still sticking in people’s craws.)

Smothering: this usually requires pillows and, again, is not the stuff of headlines, but was the method used in some of the most heartbreaking murders over the years, including more than one case that was known nationally.

Exsanguination (bleeding to death): this is usually the result of being stabbed, which has happened on mass basis in the last week.  Weapons to be used? Well, knives of course.  Scissors.  Hedge trimmers.  Scythes.  Lawn mower.  Although, stick somebody in the right spot with a sharp letter opener and the same results are possible.  It just takes severing an artery.  Messy, though.  One episode of CSI had a professional, chef grade butcher knife as the murder weapon. (Not repeating what they did with the body.  Yuck.)

Medical training gone amuck: People who work in medicine are the ones who REALLY know how to kill other people without leaving much of a trace.  Overdose the victim on morphine, inject air into blood vessels, colorless and odorless toxins…so much for the Hippocratic oath.

Drowning: yes, water, which is required for life, is deadly when breathed into the lungs which happens when panicked people are held under water and pass out.  I used to be a lifeguard.  Cement shoes are not needed for this to be effective.

Of course, that is not all of the ways murder can happen, nor are any of them as effective as an accurate shooter on a rampage, but the idea that an inanimate object is responsible for deliberate killing is just ridiculous.  Yes, a gun can be a weapon – just as a wrench, a rope, a lead pipe, a knife and a big, heavy brass candlestick can be.  As kids in America, we all learn this.  Should all of these, along with baseball bats, buckets of water, scissors, morphine, syringes and more be outlawed because they can be used as the tools of homicide?

Or should we, as a society, try to figure out why human life seems so cheap to those who do the killing?  It’s the question the left does not want asked.

Granted, the vast majority of the stories we hear regarding murder are really the crime of passion or convenience sorts.  Actual premeditation is much harder to catch (especially with the crime shows telling all the police lab tricks), but just because guns are harder to get for above board, law abiding citizens, does not mean the killing is going to stop.  People with no respect for human life will use illegally obtained weapons or just find another way to do it.

Not exactly the results that the left is looking for.

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Categories: Culture, Politics

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4 replies

  1. Hmnn…I think you’re having way too much fun here! Displaying thoughts no doubt, that welled up from the dark part of the subconscious when someone cut you off in traffic, or maybe beat you to the cashier with the shortest line…

    The list seems mostly retail methods; guns have no premium on wholesale ones though. You can off groups with proper use of underground gas lines, for instance. Or any explosive, for that matter. And you can slip exotic substances into banquet dinners (I’ve read that Obama employs a food taster of some sort.) Fire works well, too…just chain the doors shut.

    I usually charge for this sort of advice, but I can tell, your heart’s in the right place, so this is a freebie!

  2. One does wonder why some many people think about killing other people. The utility knife episode in Texas was performed by some one who had thought about killing people for years then he became violent and lived out his fantasy. But when culture aids in the creating of this type of violence, those advocating that culture cannot seek the cause of violence without exposing the faults with their culture. Thus, they place blame on a piece of metal incapable of doing any thing without a mind and finger attached to that mind. They prefer to attach the metal and continue to allow the violence be produced. Just a thought but having watched children’s TV since the fifties, it has become more violent as has the motion picture industry.

    But of course we know that little Johnny watching people or animals being hit or killed in his kiddie shows does very little to influence his behavior just as big Joe watching some eastern European male type drug and rape a twelve girl on their computer. I once had a literature professor who said, “Just as food makes you what you are physically, what you see and hear makes your mind what it is.”.

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